The Meaning of Life: Part 3: It's Never too Early

You who are young, be happy while you are young,
   and let your heart give you joy in the days of your youth.
Follow the ways of your heart
   and whatever your eyes see,
but know that for all these things
   God will bring you into judgment. 

So then, banish anxiety from your heart
   and cast off the troubles of your body,
   for youth and vigor are meaningless. Ecclesiastes 11:9-10

Remember your Creator
   in the days of your youth,
before the days of trouble come
   and the years approach when you will say,
   “I find no pleasure in them”— Ecclesiastes 12:1

Today’s Reading: Ecclesiastes 10-12; Galatians 1

Relatively speaking I am young. Sure I’m no longer the know-it-all knucklehead that I was in high school who was only concerned with basketball and being somewhat cool. But I am also far from the twilight of my life. God willing, I have many more years to live than I have already spent on this earth.

This is why the passage above really hit me when I read it. I am young and therefore I should enjoy life and let my heart give me joy in the days of my youth. This is a time to explore, spread my wings and fly into the far reaches of this world that my heart desires to go, experience all that the world has to offer, to live out my dreams. But the passage also suggests that I do this with God in mind.

And this makes sense to me. If I remember that God is with me with each step that I take then perhaps those steps will be easier. I will know that I have someone to lean on when the going gets tough. When life makes me limp, I’ll know that I have someone to lean on for support; and even better, carry me when I feel that I can no longer move forward.

Two years ago I got a fix it ticket for the tint on the side windows of my car so I had to go to the tint shop to get it removed. When I was there I met an older Jewish fellow who was getting tint put on his vehicle. I had my Bible with me while I was waiting so he struck up a conversation about religion and faith. He had been studying Kabbalah for several years and was amazed by what he has been learning on his recent spiritual journey. He said that he was surprised and encouraged that I was on a similar journey at such a young age. He wished he had started sooner.

That struck me as strange because I felt like I was behind. I was just coming back from being away from it for several years. Plus this was a very successful man. I still had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. I was still searching for purpose in nearly every way. When I told him this he said that it was good that I was doing the spiritual search first; that way I will learn what I need to learn in order to make the best decisions in those other aspects of my life going into the future.

It’s interesting. I’ve heard similar things from other elders. It’s never too early to search for meaning, to seek out one’s place in the world in terms of what we believe. Often times we wander about aimlessly because we have no rudder. We are just pieces of wood drifting along ocean currents determined by others.

Yes we should enjoy our youth (I need to do more of this to be honest) but that enjoyment does not have to negate a meaningful search for self. The better you know your spirit, your strengths and weaknesses, and the foundation of your faith then the better equipped you will be to fully enjoy your time on this earth. The joy and happiness will have purpose; it will contribute to your life rather than possibly setting it back.

It may be a lonely journey at a young age; seeking God, discovering the truth at the foundation of your life, but Ecclesiastes and the old heads say it’s worthwhile and wise.

I believe them.

What I have discovered so far is this:

Love God and pursue a relationship with him.

Love your neighbor as yourself.

Live in the present.

Search your heart and spirit for your purpose and chase after it with all that you have.

Do not live in fear.

Enjoy the things that don’t last beyond the present: Your work, good food and good times with good people.

       

In the end everything else is meaningless, “a chasing after the wind”.

Don't Ask is done, but we ALL still have a ways to go

Don’t ask don’t tell has been repealed. I have two thoughts.

1. It’s about time.

2. That was a pretty moronic rule to begin with.

First of all I’m going to start by saying this: I am happy that the decision has been made to end this policy. It was long overdue. There have been countless lives affected by this DADT and I hope that this will be the first of many necessary steps toward making openly gay and lesbian soldiers a reality in our armed forces.

Now on to the part about it being moronic… I mean seriously… Being a soldier is no joke. Those who choose to be soldiers are willingly putting themselves in harms way. And they choose to do this to protect us, the regular American citizens that have no desire to be out there. I cannot begin to imagine how many good soldiers we lost by having this policy. How many lives were lost because some of our best soldiers couldn’t go out into the field of battle? In a time when our soldiers are over extended and ill-equipped we’ve allowed our collective bigotry to prevent us from putting our best foot forward.

Shameful.

This is in no way an endorsement of the wars we have going on. I am not the biggest fan of war in general, nor some of the specific decisions that have been made with our recent foreign policy. I believe that we should do our best to avoid war at all costs unless absolutely necessary.

Plus I think that peace is pretty cool. But that’s just me.

But to deny someone the right to serve their country, no, protect their country, as a soldier because of their sexuality is terrible.

And it is wrong.

But of course we have seen this before. It wasn’t too long ago that the US military was segregated along racial lines. It seems that we are hard pressed to learn lessons from the past.

What has been will be again, 
   what has been done will be done again; 
   there is nothing new under the sun.  Ecclesiastes 1:9

Most of us are afraid of what is different. We are afraid of what is new. We resist change.

But that’s not the way the world works. The world is constantly changing. We move through seasons. We experience sunshine, winds and rains. Though we follow the same path around the sun we never come back to the same place.

Time marches on and so must we.

We have seen this battle waged before but under different banners. Whether it is race or gender, nationality or sexuality the struggles remain the same.

Either we can be fair, or we can be unjust.

This is a matter of morality. Everyone has all the right in the world to think or feel however they want to about anyone else. But they do not have the right to let those thoughts fuel actions that negatively affect the lives of others. They do not have the right to impose their will on others.

What is right for you is just that; right for you.

For our gay brothers and sisters this is just one battle of a larger war. I wish them the best as a fellow from one under represented group to another.

“So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.” – Jesus of Nazareth Matthew 7:12

I want the freedom to live my life as I choose so long as I don’t hurt others. I believe that everyone else should have that same right. If freedom is denied to one then it is denied to us all.

Stay strong. There is still a long way to go… for ALL OF US.

I Just Put My Foot in my Mouth...

Indeed, there is no one on earth who is righteous,
   no one who does what is right and never sins.

Do not pay attention to every word people say,
   or you may hear your servant cursing you—
for you know in your heart
   that many times you yourself have cursed others. Ecclesiastes 7:20-22

Today’s Reading: Ecclesiastes 7-9: 2 Corinthians 13

Damn,

So you know those times where you do something that you say you try not to do without really being conscious of it and it comes back to kick you in the face?

Welcome to my day today.

So I got an email from a friend the other day saying that she is looking for roommates for this new place that she will be moving into pretty soon. When I first read the email it made me think of another friend who is looking for a place. As I ran down the list of amenities I was like oh this looks good. It’s in a cool area, the house looks nice from the pictures and it’s even pet friendly!

Check, Check, Check.

Looks like it might be a good fit.

So I forwarded the email to the friend who is looking for a new place. The email went like this:

“Not sure if you're really trying to have roommates but a Christian homegirl of mine is looking for some. I'll give you the low down on her if you are interested. We went to high school and Jr. High together... cool and sweet though on the judgmental Christian side... I don't know her super well. Let me know if you want to talk more.”

Not my finest hour…

It was alright until we got to the “judgmental Christian side” part. All bad… So here I am in an email judging someone I’ve known for years by saying that she’s judgmental!

That’s some irony for you… (a note to my literary friends… I don’t feel like looking up the definition of irony… if I am wrong feel free to educate me in the comments section below. Either way you get my point. Thanks.)

So the judged friend of mine called me and asked me about it. I’m actually really happy that she did because I know a whole lot of other people who would have just let it fester or just written me off as some kind of self-righteous hypocrite. But by calling me on it she gave me a chance to apologize.

I was so surprised by the call that I started off like “hummina hummina remember that one time when you had said x y and z well actually I don’t remember the exact time but you know what I mean blah blah blah.”

Such a dummy I was. How am I gonna try to blame her for my screw up?

Graciously she let me make a fool of myself until I just stopped and said you know what… I’m sorry. I judged you in saying that you were judgmental and that was wrong.

She thanked me for my apology and allowed me to clarify what I meant. We talked a bit more about it before ending the call decently well considering the circumstances.

I did learn a few things today. First of all, I’ve got more in common with the super judgmental folk than I think. This was a serious self check moment. I gotta work on that. Second, God has a funny way of teaching me things. I mean seriously… judging someone by calling them judgmental and getting confronted about it? That’s pretty ridiculous. Third… if you’re gonna be judgmental then don’t do it over email!!! (ok this isn’t really a good spiritual lesson but seriously… how moronic was I?)

As always… I’ve got a ways to go. For every one step back I gotta take two steps forward.

Smh… (shaking my head)

To my judged friend: If you are reading this then I hope that you will accept my apology and forgive me. Hopefully we can get past this and be cool in the future. I’m sorry!

The Meaning of Life: Part 2 Don't Get Caught by the Hustle

And I saw that all toil and all achievement spring from one person’s envy of another. This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind.

Fools fold their hands
   and ruin themselves.
Better one handful with tranquility
   than two handfuls with toil
   and chasing after the wind. Eccl 4:4-6

Today’s Reading: Ecclesiastes 4-6; 2 Corinthians 12

If you look at media and popular culture there is at least one message that rings abundantly clear.

More is better!

Advertising has taught us that we won’t be happy unless we have more. We always need the next gadget, the big house, the fancy car. There is nothing wrong with nice things. As a matter of fact I happen to like nice things. I like them a lot. But having nice things isn’t the problem. The problem is when we assign personal value to obtaining these things.

Often times it is competitive. We look around at others and see their perceived wealth and think, man… why can’t I have that? And from these salty seeds the weeds of greed sprout, only to be watered all the more by the society that we live in. If only we can be richer than the Joneses then we will be BETTER than them too.

No one comes out and actually says this, but for most of us it is a latent motivation, deep within the parts of ourselves that we least like to face.

Ok don’t believe me? I’ll give you a perfect example. Marriage.

Oh no, I’m not talking about the obvious things like men wanting the most beautiful woman or women wanting the most successful man… I’m talking about the process of getting married.

That’s right… the engagement ring and the wedding.

The engagement is the proving ground of the man. De Beers and the rest of them folks have convinced us over the past several decades that diamonds are a girl’s best friend. They have convinced us that one must purchase a diamond ring as a display of their affection for their soon to be wife. Before it was always the ring that was the symbol right? The ring is the unending circle that signifies a commitment that will never be broken. But nowadays it is the diamond too. The bigger and clearer, the more he loves her. And everyone’s watching. The first mention of a woman being engaged is followed immediately by the question “oh so let’s see the ring…”

And if that ring ain’t up to “par” then it’s all bad. Too much pressure for a situation that should be so beautiful…

Then if you make it past the engagement hurdle, the wedding comes. Who are you going to invite? Where will it be? What dress will she wear? What food will the guests eat? We can’t sit uncle Rufus next to Aunt Maybell. We said we’d only invite 100 people but what about my second cousins on my momma’s side? They’ll be furious if they aren’t invited. Couples take out loans the size of down payments on would be homes so that they can please all of these other people and prove to them the largesse of their love.

And the coldest part of this hustle is that the whole purpose of this expression of love and commitment has vanished into an elaborate and expensive show and tell. There are countless couples who delay engagement because of their expectations for the kind of ring they should buy or how much the wedding will cost. Others assume crippling debt to keep up with the weddings that their friends and family had while still others, who try to do it within their means, get judged for the fiscal modesty of their displays of affection.

All of this for two special events that are supposed to be about love: the day a couple privately agree to commit themselves to each other for life, and the day that they share that commitment with their family and friends.

My point isn’t to expose the obvious hustle behind this whole industry. We all know what’s going on here. And my point is not to trash beautiful rings and weddings. I think it is wonderful when two people can share their love with each other and their loved ones in beautifully creative ways.

But at the end of the day it’s easy to lose focus. The focus should be on enjoying that present moment. It should be about planning every single day to share the best, most loving life together.

Don’t worry about what the next person is doing, or wearing, or driving. Just focus on the life that you live, the choices that you can make, and the joy that you can experience each and every day. Find work that fulfills your purpose, work that you enjoy, work that puts food in your family’s belly.

Everything else is nice and great but it’s not necessary. If you want it then by all means go for it!!! Enjoy the wonderful treasures that life has out there for us.

But do it for you. Do it because it is what YOU want, not because someone else is watching you or telling you how you should live your life.

Your life is yours. Seize the day! The present moment is all we are guaranteed. Never lose sight of that, and your days will be filled with joy. 

The Meaning of Life: Part 1

That which has been is what will be, 

That which is done is what will be done,
And there is nothing new under the sun. 

Is there anything of which it may be said, 

“See, this is new”?
It has already been in ancient times before us.
There is no remembrance of former things,
Nor will there be any remembrance of things that are to come
By those who will come after. - Ecclesiastes 1:9-11

Today’s Reading: Ecclesiastes 1-3; 2 Corinthians 11:16-33

Ecclesiastes is my favorite book of the Bible.

I love it probably because it is the most challenging. Or perhaps because it stimulates the philosopher in me (shout out to Kieran). But one thing is certain. This book strikes me as being pure, unadulterated truth.

It is the ultimate search for meaning.

There is something solemn, almost depressing about the introductory thesis.

      “ Vanity of vanities, all is vanity.”
       What profit has a man from all his labor – Ecclesiastes 1:2-3

Like Lauryn Hill said… “Everything that you did has been has already been done.”

So what is the point? Why do we do all that we do? Do we do it so that we will be remembered? Perhaps we build our legacies and fortunes to pass on to our children. But isn’t that selfish as well? To the extent that our children are the mark that we leave on the world it is at least partially selfish. And even our children will pass on. Buildings with our names may be erected but over time they too will fall. Even if you establish an entire civilization, those too crumble.

Egypt was around for thousands of years and even it met its demise; leaving behind some fresh pyramids with dope graffiti on the walls. Greece and Rome came as well. They too left some cool buildings and sculptures as well as a few good books. But the cares of the individuals, their hopes and dreams and work all vanished in the sands of time.

Our society today has created so much. We have achieved levels of understanding that make us believe that we can comprehend the universe. We have created a global information network that allows us to share our ideas with the rest of the world with the click of a mouse. But that too will some day fade away long after the last flickers of electricity disappear into the darkness of time’s passing.

Everything that has been has already been done.

I have spent many sleepless hours trying to answer this question for myself. What is my purpose? What do I do next? Why did I do what I did before? And somehow in these pages I find the truth.

The “why” doesn’t matter as much as the “what”.

The measure of a life isn’t why someone lived how they lived, but rather what the contents of that life were in the moments that they were lived. Were you happy? Did you enjoy your work? Did you surround yourselves with people that you love? Did you enjoy good food? Did you live your life to the fullest?

The purpose of life lies in the present.

This is the message that I get from this book. The past is meaningless, the future is meaningless. All of the same things happen over and over again in different forms anyway. What truly matters is the present. That is where the meaning is. The present is the truth.

When I think about life in this way it is quite liberating. All of the past troubles and mistakes disappear and the future worries evaporate into the nothingness that they truly are. When I remember that the present is all that matters, all that is complex becomes simple. I start to “be”.

And after all, that’s what we are right? We are human beings. Our purpose is to live and exist in the now.

A wise friend of mine once told me that the key to life is to do the best that you can in the present moment every single day.

The more that I think about those words the more I see how truly correct she was.