Thanksgiving

 Sing to the LORD with grateful praise;
   make music to our God on the harp.

 He covers the sky with clouds;
   he supplies the earth with rain
   and makes grass grow on the hills.
He provides food for the cattle
   and for the young ravens when they call. - Psalm 147:7-9

Today’s Reading: Psalms 146-147; 1 Corinthians 15:1-28

Thanksgiving was always a trying time for me.

I grew up going back and forth between my Mom’s and Dad’s houses each week. But the holidays were different. On Thanksgiving (just like Christmas) I used to switch mid day. Just as I had woken up and gotten settled at one house, soon enough, there was a ring at the doorbell signaling that it was time to go. Me and my sister had to pack up our things and leave one parent for the other, never getting to share the entirety of any holiday in one household.

When I used to look back on what became “normal” for me I used to get frustrated. It bothered me that I never knew the stability of sharing any special day with my whole family at one dinner table. But now I look at it very differently.

Today, as I go on my Thanksgiving journey, I realize just how amazingly blessed I am. I am going to share this wonderful day of thanks twice with two sets of parents that love me unconditionally. Many people in this world cannot say the same for even one set of parents or even a single parent for that matter. When I think about how I used to be frustrated by what I saw as a burden, I just feel an immense sense of gratitude that life has gotten me to a point where I can see the best in life’s situations.

Everyone is dealt different cards in the game of life. What we must never forget is the most important rule to winning this game. We must always keep our minds and hearts focused on what is good. We must search out life’s treasures all around us; because even though it may not seem like it, they are there.

I honestly believe that this type of attitude is a decision that everyone can make. I’m sure that many folks will point to the most extreme situations in life and say that I am wrong and I humbly submit that I can only speak from my perspective. I believe that the more we decide to focus on the glass being half full, the faster that glass starts to fill up until it overflows.

There are many things in life that are out of our control. But one of the things that we do have a measure of control over is our attitude. Several years ago I realized this for myself. I used to be one of those half empty dudes. When I decided to make that shift, when I decided to seek out the treasures and blessings already abundant in my life I was better able to see the new ones that were on the horizon.

So let’s use this Thanksgiving as an opportunity to really give thanks. Take an inventory of your life and really try to find the wonderful blessings that you may have missed. Maybe it is an unappreciated friend or family member. Or perhaps it was a new opportunity this year. No matter who you are I believe that you have at least one thing to be thankful for.

And when you are sitting at your dinner table today; whether it is with family or friends or at a soup kitchen because you had nowhere else to go, try to use this meal as an opportunity to take a new step in the right direction.

Let today be the first of many days that you give thanks for what life has brought you. I know that I will; and I hope that very soon this act of giving thanks will bring abundant joy to your life in ways that you could never have imagined. 

Superfriends

My Eyes will be on the faithful in the land, that they may dwell with me; he whose walk is blameless will minister to me. Psalm 101: 6

Today’s Reading: Psalms 100-102; 1 Corinthians 1

We have all heard that old saying that you are the company you keep.

So cliché.

But we also know that the most cliché sayings have become that way for a reason. It’s because they are real as steel.

I was talking with the homie Dez on GChat the other day. Or rather I was working and he hit me up randomly with a link. The link was to this young cat Phillip T. Annand who is doing some real interesting things. Dude has a dope blog, a clothing line, and all kinds of other content all while he is going to college. The freshest thing about what he and his friends are doing is that they seem to be making money doing what they enjoy. They are living life on their own terms.

Not mad at dude… not mad at all. That is really what this blog is all about.

But what struck me most is that I have friends who seek to inspire me and want what is best for me. Sometimes that may mean telling me something that I don’t want to hear. Other times that means inspiring me by sharing stories of other folks who are doing what I aspire to do.

A couple years ago I took inventory of the folks I had in my life and looked to see who the positive influences were? Who was adding to my life? Who was sucking me dry?

I determined that there are three kinds of people in this respect. The first are the folks who use you until you’re all used up. And when you have been sucked dry they just move on; upset that you didn’t have more to give. I call them spiritual vampires.

The next are the folks who seem to give give give without allowing you to give in return. This may seem good on the surface but it is totally out of balance. Relationships are about giving and receiving and often times those who refuse to receive hold their “good” deeds over your head. In a sense it is taking through giving. They take your energy through guilt and obligation. It is sad and unhealthy.

The next are the kind of folk that I strive to surround myself with. They are the folks who give without expectation. They show love the best ways they can but are also open to receiving love back. With these kinds of people there is a healthy flow and exchange, not based on obligation, but based on mutual love and respect.

I strive to be the third kind of person to those around me. I’m not perfect. I’ve been my fair share of the first two at times in my life just like the rest of us. But when we have folks in our lives who genuinely love and care about us, it is much easier for us to achieve a healthy balance. And from that balance we are able to grow much faster, with exceptional richness of love and purpose for our lives.

Think about who those folks are for you. What kind of people have you surrounded yourself with? Are they takers leaving you spiritually exhausted? Are they “givers” leaving you burdened with insurmountable guilt? Or are they balanced folks that love you and love to receive love from you?

I hope that you discover, much like I did, that there are people around you that have done more to help you grow into the person that you are than you might be aware of.

Thank them and remember to give love to them. And don’t forget to receive that same love back with humility and grace.

Home Is Where The Heart Is

Barnabas wanted to take John, also called Mark, with them, but Paul did not think it wise to take him, because he had deserted them in Pamphylia and had not continued with them in the work. They had such a sharp disagreement that they parted company. Barnabas took Mark and sailed for Cyprus, but Paul chose Silas and left, commended by the brothers to the grace of the Lord. He went through Syria and Cilicia, strengthening the churches. - Acts 15: 37-41

Today’s Reading: Job 36-37; Acts 15: 22-41

Friendship is a tricky thing.

When we choose to make strong bonds with people it can be so amazing. Often times these people are drawn to us based on common interests or a common purpose. Sometimes we meet them on a common path. Some of my best friends I met in college. I cannot imagine what my life would be like had I chosen to go to a different school. Some friendships are that powerful.

That is why it is so hurtful when these friendships splinter. We feel betrayed and hurt. We feel misled. We wonder why in the world we opened up to these people. After all they aren’t family anyway. There’s no reason to get so close right? It’s just a whole lot of heartache and pain in the end. It can’t be worth it.

Wrong.

Some relationships are only meant for a season, some for years and others for a lifetime. Most are only meant for a couple days or a week. We all have our own paths to walk. We cannot expect that the people who enter our lives along our path are destined to remain there forever.

And why would we want that? Sure it might seem comforting for a great friend to go along with our dreams and purpose. But truly loving someone means that we have to set them free. We have to encourage them to follow their dreams, to walk their own path to their purpose.

Sometimes that freedom leads them to be close to you. Sometimes that freedom takes them far away. In the case of Paul and Barnabas their disagreement over Mark sent them on different journeys. They were still doing the same great work but could not do it together in that season. Both had to do what they thought was right and as a result, more folks heard their message.

Don’t be afraid to set your friends free. That’s what love is. Even if that freedom leads them away from you, the love that you share means that you will always remain in each other’s hearts.

After all, home is where the heart is anyways. If we have the courage to love our friends enough to set them free, then it is possible that they will be friends for life.  

The World Is Yours

Jesus' brothers said to him, "You ought to leave here and go to Judea, so that your disciples may see the miracles you do. No one who wants to become a public figure acts in secret. Since you are doing these things, show yourself to the world." For even his own brothers did not believe in him.

Therefore Jesus told them, "The right time for me has not yet come; for you any time is right. The world cannot hate you, but it hates me because I testify that what it does is evil. You go to the Feast. I am not yet going up to this Feast, because for me the right time has not yet come." Having said this, he stayed in Galilee. – John 7:3-9

Today’s Reading: 1 Chronicles 13-15; John 7:1-27

Good gracious… Even his brothers were hating on him!

One thing that I noticed here is that Jesus worked on his time, not on anyone else’s time. His brothers try to bait him into going to Judea and perform miracles to prove that he was who he said he was.

But of course this wasn’t the real reason. They wanted him to go to Judea so that he could publicly fail or publicly succeed and give them the proof that they needed in order to believe.

They wanted him to go for their own selfish reasons, not for the greater good or to benefit their brother Jesus.

I come from a family full of advanced degrees. My dad is a nuclear engineer, my mom is a psychologist, my sister and several others are lawyers. I have many friends who are similarly educated as well. I am very proud of my friends and family and all of the things that they have accomplished.

But when it came time for me to graduate college I didn’t know what I wanted to do next. I saw many paths but none seemed right to me. So instead of jumping into grad school I decided to find a job. This was definitely scary because I always saw myself as someone who would do what the others around me had done. You finish high school, finish college, get an advanced degree and get PAID.

But that wasn’t the plan for me.

Since graduating school I have had many people tell me what I ought to do and for the most part it does seem to come from a place of love. But I am finally starting to realize the importance of owning my own path.

As well meaning as folks might be, me and God are the only people who have been with me from day one, and will be there until the last day.

If I allow myself to live life on other people’s terms then odds are I won’t be doing God’s or my will for my life.

That is a quick path to unhappiness.

So, yes, we should listen to our loved ones and mentors when they have advice for us; however, in the end we must remember that the decision is ours.

And for those that believe… holler at God too, I’m sure that He has the best advice of all and has the power to make it happen.

Do you… the world is yours.

Ivory Avenue

“I seek not to please myself but him who sent me.” John 5:30

Today’s Reading: 1 Chronicles 1-3; John 5:25-47

I did not feel like going to church on Saturday.

My dad’s church, Simi Valley Christian Center, is in Simi Valley. This is forty miles away from where I live in Culver City. If that weren’t enough, it is on Saturday evenings at 6pm! It makes sense though given that it is a new church and the kinds of folks that attend (the blended family is one of his ministry focuses and it is much easier to get your kids together at 6pm than Sunday morning).

But, it’s rough on your boy.

The last several Saturdays I have gotten in my car and started to head down there but ridiculous traffic always discouraged me. Plus, I’ve got things to do on Saturdays and it kinda breaks up the flow.

So I wasn’t feelin’ going AT ALL and I had almost decided that I wouldn’t go when I was talking to my girlfriend. She asked if I was going to go and I hesitated… to which she responded “didn’t you tell me that it’s moments like these, when you don’t want to do something, that you have to do it!?”

Drats…

So I get in my car and head down the road earlier than usual to make sure that I get there on time. Of course as is usually the case in such situations there was very little traffic so I end up getting there about a half hour early.

What am I going to do with all of that time?

Then it hit me… I haven’t gone by the old neighborhood in a long while. So, when I exited Tapo Canyon Rd I turned right instead of left and went by the house that I grew up in all the way through high school.

It was such a wonderful experience.

As I drove down these familiar streets all of these wonderful memories from my childhood welled up in me. I remembered riding bikes down Alamo with my sisters, going up and down the hilly sidewalks pretending that I was going a hundred miles an hour. I remembered riding down Galena to the shopping center. We used feast on 99 cent Whoppers during breaks from playing videogames on the game console displays in Target. I remember going to the comic book store with my friends waiting for the new releases to come out. We had fun trying to predict which new comics would be the next big thing. After missing horribly with Spawn we gave up that endeavor.

It was so much fun.

When I made the turn on to Galena and then the quick right on to Emerald the memory of the first time that my dad let me drive rushed back into the present. I was eight years old and could barely see over the steering wheel of our red 1988 Toyota Tercel but since I dared to ask he dared to let me try. I must have stalled at least three or four times trying to negotiate the stick shift around the one turn to our street, Ivory Avenue. But when it was all said and done I felt like a man.

Twenty years later, as I approached this same intersection in my own stick shift I marveled at how much has changed but also remains the same. The huge trees we used to climb in the island in the middle of the street were gone and replaced with smaller ones. Many of the homes had new garage doors and some different landscaping. But there was our old house still looking exactly the same.

It felt like coming home again.

Had I not been encouraged to go to church on this beautiful Saturday afternoon I wouldn’t have been reminded of how blessed I am. I am so blessed to have grown up in a place safe enough for kids to ride bikes and climb trees. I am so blessed to have a father who loves me and has always done his best to support me. I am so blessed to be able to drive back to my old neighborhood twenty years later as a young man with so much to look forward to in life.

I hope that one day my future kids will be able to do the same thing. I hope that they will be able to look back on their childhood with the same fondness. I hope that they will be able to come home, wherever that is, and remember a lifetime of memories of love shared with family and friends. I hope that they will have the relationship with me and my future wife that I have with my parents; one of loving guidance, respect, and joy.

I know this is possible and will happen if I remember to “seek not to please myself but him who sent me”.

I’m looking forward to it.

Question of the Day: What are some of your fond memories of childhood or any time in the past that makes your heart smile?

P.S. Oh yeah and church was GREAT. He talked about faith and the things that block it in our lives. Pops has heat… check him out.

Simi Valley Christian Center

4191 Cochran St

Simi Valley CA 93063

(at Shepherd of the Valley Lutheran Church)

Mentors

They replied, "If today you will be a servant to these people and serve them and give them a favorable answer, they will always be your servants."

But Rehoboam rejected the advice the elders gave him and consulted the young men who had grown up with him and were serving him. He asked them, "What is your advice? How should we answer these people who say to me, 'Lighten the yoke your father put on us'?"

The young men who had grown up with him replied, "Tell these people who have said to you, 'Your father put a heavy yoke on us, but make our yoke lighter'-tell them, 'My little finger is thicker than my father's waist. My father laid on you a heavy yoke; I will make it even heavier. My father scourged you with whips; I will scourge you with scorpions.' " - 1 Kings 12: 7-11

Today’s Reading: 1 Kings 12- 13; Luke 22: 1-20

I was talking to my friend Yohance of Merc80.com the other day about women, relationships and the like. One of the things that he said that really struck me was something to this effect.

“I really want to have a grown man dinner or something to talk to older folks about this stuff.”

I feel him on that.

Mentors are really important. Whether it comes to choosing a mate, a path, following your purpose or navigating the pitfalls on the path towards our dreams; there is someone who has already walked in similar footsteps.

I wonder if a lot of the problems that younger folks have with relationships these days are caused by this. There are so many young men and women who grew up without fathers or in broken homes. How would they learn how to treat a woman? How would they learn how to provide for her emotional well-being?

The same goes for women. If we have not grown up with positive examples for these kinds of relationships then where do we learn these lessons?

Unfortunately, too many of us go to our friends.

On the surface this seems all good and nice but the problem is that they don’t know anything either!

THEY ARE JUST AS CLUELESS AS YOU.

Ok so sure you can read books on it and there are plenty out there on the topic. But I also bet that you have some examples in your life of working relationships. They may not be your parents but look at your friends’ parents, teachers you’ve had, people in your church or community groups.

Contrary to common belief these relationships do exist.

So when it comes down to the important decisions in life, make sure that you reach out to the folks who have already walked the path.

They will be more helpful than you think.

Friendship

While David was at Horesh in the Desert of Ziph, he learned that Saul had come out to take his life. And Saul's son Jonathan went to David at Horesh and helped him find strength in God. "Don't be afraid," he said. "My father Saul will not lay a hand on you. You will be king over Israel, and I will be second to you. Even my father Saul knows this." The two of them made a covenant before the LORD. Then Jonathan went home, but David remained at Horesh.

Kofi is a great friend of mine. We met when we were visiting our respective colleges as high school seniors.

He has become one of the best men I know.

It’s funny because when we first met we talked about how neither of us were going to end up at the schools we were visiting. He was visiting Claremont McKenna and I was visiting Pomona College. We were both accepted at USC and were certain that we’d end up there. We even talked about the idea of rooming together at USC when we got there.

But God had different plans for us…

There were four other great people that I met on that trip and we all became great friends. We all decided to go to these small liberal arts schools because deep down we sensed that we had a magical connection. This became clear very early on in our freshman year but in 2008 I started to see the bigger plan of my friendship with Kofi start to unfold.

This was the year that I decided to read the Bible again and Kofi is the friend that I read it with. Our friendship grew exponentially. We were able to share our questions, feelings, experiences, and our insights. When I felt like quitting he built me up. When he felt like quitting I built him up.

It has always been hard for me to open up to people. Trust has never been something that has come easily…

But through that year Kofi really taught me what it means to be a friend. Friends are people who will build you up when you are down, bring you back to reality when you are full of foolish pride, are sounding boards for your problems and teach you how to listen when you care for their issues.

Friends love you enough to help you up when you fall, forgive you when you are flawed, encourage you to follow your dreams, ask the tough questions others are scared to ask, and love you like family.

It was through this experience of reading the Bible with him that I am able to better understand the friendship between Jonathan and David. Having someone that you that believe in and love for who they are and knowing that they accept you in the same way is powerful beyond measure.

We can be strong on our own, but how much stronger do we become with great people in our lives?

So I am taking this moment to recognize not only a great man but also a great friend. And you should too, because without him this blog would not exist.

Kof I salute you.

Today’s Reading: 1 Samuel 22-24; Luke 12: 1-31

What About Your Friends?

At that time Mary got ready and hurried to a town in the hill country of Judea, where she entered Zechariah's home and greeted Elizabeth. When Elizabeth heard Mary's greeting, the baby leaped in her womb, and Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit. In a loud voice she exclaimed: "Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the child you will bear! But why am I so favored, that the mother of my Lord should come to me? As soon as the sound of your greeting reached my ears, the baby in my womb leaped for joy. Blessed is she who has believed that what the Lord has said to her will be accomplished!" Luke 1: 39-45

What a wonderful welcome!

Right after the angel Gabriel dropped that heavy news on Mary she rushed immediately to Zechariah’s home to see his wife Elizabeth. The first things out of Elizabeth’s mouth were words of congratulations and encouragement.

Being in good company is so very important.

We have already talked about protecting our dreams but can you remember the times where you have told your dreams to the right person? It’s such a wonderful thing!

Now as a point of clarification… the “right” person isn’t the one who will always agree with you. On the contrary, they are the people who will keep it real with you. But if your dream is in line with your purpose, and they have the faith to pursue their dreams as well, then these are the folks who will encourage you like no other.

Not everyone that you know and love will understand what you are doing. And that’s fine. Robert Kiyosaki talks about this in Rich Dad, Poor Dad. He had two “dads” that he looked up to. One had a rich mentality and a poor mentality. At the age of 9 he decided to listen to his rich dad when it came to money. It’s not that he didn’t respect his poor dad any less than his rich dad… he just made a conscious decision to go to his poor dad when he needed leadership in regards to his finances.

These are the kinds of decisions we have to make with the people in our lives. In the same way that we wouldn’t go to a mechanic to get our taxes done, we have to think critically about with whom we choose to share our dreams.

I first started learning this lesson from TLC. They made me think about my friends. Would they stand their ground? Would they let me down? Would they be around?

These are all very important questions to ask.

Now I know that, yes, I have friends that are willing to do this for me and I for them, but when it comes to our dreams… gotta make sure that we include the folks who will help blow wind in our sails, not poke holes in them.

We have to be able to distinguish our Elizabeths from our Zecharaiahs.

Perhaps that’s why Gabriel shut his mouth for nine months. God couldn’t have any naysayers around his women of purpose.

That would not be a good look.

Today’s Reading: Joshua 10-12: Luke 1:39-56