On The Road to Damascus

Meanwhile, Saul was still breathing out murderous threats against the Lord's disciples. He went to the high priest and asked him for letters to the synagogues in Damascus, so that if he found any there who belonged to the Way, whether men or women, he might take them as prisoners to Jerusalem. As he neared Damascus on his journey, suddenly a light from heaven flashed around him. He fell to the ground and heard a voice say to him, "Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me?" Acts 9:1-4

Today’s Reading: Job 11-13; Acts 9:1-21

Several years ago when I was in the depths of my doubts about God and spirituality I wrote this poem called “On the Road to Damascus”. It was about this opinion that I had at the time. I wondered if Christianity had lost its way on that road when Paul came into the church.

Why did I feel this way you might ask?

Well, when I was in college I was reading through one of Paul’s letters and I came across this passage:

Slaves, obey your earthly masters with respect and fear, and with sincerity of heart, just as you would obey Christ. – Ephesians 6:5

Being that I am descended from enslaved Africans in the United States this verse didn’t go over so well. I wondered how this verse could be in this Bible that I am supposed to live by. How many of my ancestors were taught this passage in an effort to convince them to pick more cotton?  How many slave owners taught this verse to their children so that they could grow up to be the next class of owners without remorse? Where was Jesus in a message like this? Is this something that Jesus would condone?

I had so many questions.

And at the same time I remembered growing up hearing all kinds of folks use all kinds of scriptures to place others in prisons of guilt.

I gave Paul all of the blame.

But when I got back into reading the Bible for myself I realized that so much of the negativity that I had attributed to Paul really fell on the heads of those who spun his words for evil.

With a little creativity even words of peace can be used to wage war.

When I look back at that time when I was full of bitterness and anger towards Christianity I am reminded of how important it is to work hard to discover for ourselves what we believe. Once I made that decision to look at things through my own eyes, rather than through the actions of others, I was able to achieve a peace that I didn’t know was possible.

It is a challenge, to think for ourselves, but it is one that must be taken with courage. Otherwise, what really do you believe?

Doubting is ok as long as we have the courage to face these doubts in order to find the truth.  

Shame: A Letter to David

As King David approached Bahurim, a man from the same clan as Saul's family came out from there. His name was Shimei son of Gera, and he cursed as he came out. He pelted David and all the king's officials with stones, though all the troops and the special guard were on David's right and left. As he cursed, Shimei said, "Get out, get out, you man of blood, you scoundrel! The LORD has repaid you for all the blood you shed in the household of Saul, in whose place you have reigned. The LORD has handed the kingdom over to your son Absalom. You have come to ruin because you are a man of blood!" – Excerpt from 2 Samuel 16: 5-14

Today’s Reading: 2 Samuel 16-18; Luke 17: 20-37

Yo David,

Man, what are you thinking? I read this over and over again at least four or five times. And all I could think was wow… what would I be thinking here?

Several years earlier you knocked up Bathsheba and killed her husband in the process. The prophet Nathan told you about yourself and you felt real bad. You knew that God was not a fan of what you did.

Not one bit.

So fast forward a couple of years and here you are… running out of Israel to escape from your son Absalom. On the way out you run into Saul’s kin folk. Of course he’s not exactly pleased with you. But wow. He throws stones at you in front of all of your men and curses you saying that you got dethroned because you are a man of blood.

Must not have felt too good man…

What’s interesting is that you know that you were anointed by God through Samuel. That is undeniable. So of course what he is saying about this being retribution for Saul is incorrect. But, you sure do know that you have some innocent blood on your hands.

I too wondered why you didn’t have old boy snuffed out when he was throwing stones. But I get it. Even though he wasn’t exactly right, you knew that you were wrong.

Your tryst with Bathsheba turned you into the man of blood that he was speaking of.

I guess it pays to do right doesn’t it?

I’m not judging you, but it seems like you have some doubts at this point. But how much do you doubt? Do you doubt whether or not you will be king again? Or, do you doubt whether or not you ever should have been?

It seems to me that both are equally likely because of the remorse that you felt for the wrong that you did.

So hard man…

No person is perfect… and hence the difficulty of living life. But one thing you have shown me here David, is that when we do wrong we open the door to all kinds of confusion.

I’ll do my best… sigh…

Peace.