David's Mighty Men

Today’s Reading: 2 Samuel 23-24; Luke 19: 1-27

So we are coming to the end of David’s story and there is this hilarious chapter on his mighty men. Them cats who made 300 should do a movie on David.

Actually, someone with better storytelling skills… but for real these dudes were way more beastly than the Spartans… Here are some excerpts from 2 Samuel 23 that I enjoyed.

These are the names of David's mighty men:

Josheb-Basshebeth, a Tahkemonite, was chief of the Three; he raised his spear against eight hundred men, whom he killed in one encounter. 2 Samuel 23: 8

Eight hundred in one encounter!! Hahaha wowzers. And with a spear! Dudes muscle endurance must have been off the chain (I’ve spent entirely too much time thinking about capoeira lately).

Next to him was Eleazar son of Dodai the Ahohite. As one of the three mighty men, he was with David when they taunted the Philistines gathered at Pas Dammim for battle. Then the men of Israel retreated, but he stood his ground and struck down the Philistines till his hand grew tired and froze to the sword. The LORD brought about a great victory that day. The troops returned to Eleazar, but only to strip the dead. 2 Samuel 23: 9-10

His hand grew tired… but he didn’t drop the sword… oh no… his hand forze to the sword! When mere mortals get tired they let go, but Eleazer, he holds on.

Imagine being one of the soldiers who came back to the battlefield only to see Eleazer there, standing on a heap of slain enemies trying to shake his sword free from his hand.

Not sure why that is so amusing to me. It’s so ridiculous!

Shammah’s story isn’t as ill.. but the finale for all three is the best…

During harvest time, three of the thirty chief men came down to David at the cave of Adullam, while a band of Philistines was encamped in the Valley of Rephaim. At that time David was in the stronghold, and the Philistine garrison was at Bethlehem. David longed for water and said, "Oh, that someone would get me a drink of water from the well near the gate of Bethlehem!" So the three mighty men broke through the Philistine lines, drew water from the well near the gate of Bethlehem and carried it back to David. But he refused to drink it; instead, he poured it out before the LORD. "Far be it from me, O LORD, to do this!" he said. "Is it not the blood of men who went at the risk of their lives?" And David would not drink it.
Such were the exploits of the three mighty men. 2 Samuel 23: 13-17

Priceless.

Gotta love how after all of that David poured out libations…

Libations!

I have no idea how folks don’t find a whole lot of entertainment in the Good Book.