Friday, October 29, 2010

Meditation Day 5: My Halloween Adventure

Today's Reading: Matthew 5-7

The last few years I haven’t gone out on Halloween but this year I said, “hey, why not switch it up and have fun with the homies?”

So I decided that I would go out.

In typical Clarence fashion I had no idea what I would wear as a costume. My buddy Kenneth shot me a link to a costume shop owned by one of his friends and I flipped through it during the afternoon. Good gracious there are a lot of costumes out there, but nothing in particular tickled my fancy. I decided that I would just go on Saturday to look at the costumes in person. Maybe then I would be motivated to make a decision. There was a party that I RSVP’d for on Saturday so I figured I would have plenty of time to figure it out.

Oh, but I was wrong… the party was actually on Friday! Drats.

I realized this fact at around 6pm when I got home from work. With no costume and very little time I perused my closet for a make shift solution. I was talking to one of my buddies on the phone and he said, hey why not just throw on that dashiki you have and call it a day.

Done and done.

With my sad excuse of a costume in hand I prepared for the evening. I had a questionable feeling about how the night would go. This usually happens around the same time on the night of a Halloween party. In the past I obeyed that feeling but tonight I said screw it. I’m gonna go out and kick it with the fellas

In the end I’m glad I did.

I arrived at the party at around 10pm with PERFECT timing. My friends got there a bit earlier and were already in the front of the line. This kind of thing happens with my friends and I. We have a knack for showing up at places at the right time, or having a series of coincidences work in our favor. It is something that I have relied on for the past ten year actually. If science gets to the point where they can measure spiritual energy I would bet twenty dollars that there is a tangible explanation for it.

But I digress.

So I slide into the front of the line with them and in we go! The party was at a nice venue. I have been there before for other events and I figured that it would be just right. It’s that perfect size between lounge and club that allows folks to dance if they want to or chill and talk if they want to without affecting the entire mood of the place. 

So we stride in together. One friend is a human Twister game (of course he got spun and touched the entire night).  Yohance was Thriller. He had the MJ jacket and the thriller werewolf mask. My buddy Kieran was “love sick”. Hahaha ok he’s the homie of the crew who instead of dressing as a character he dresses as a theme. He was in a hospital gown with an arrow through his heart. He also had a fake hospital bracelet that stated his diagnoses as love sick. To cap it off, he had a blonde wig and some fake white butt cheeks hanging out of the back of the hospital gown. It was utterly ridiculous and totally awesome at the same time.

We got there kind of early and just hung out as the place filled up. In typical LA fashion the place was full of scantily clad, beautiful people. It was just what was to be expected from a Halloween bash.

Of course because of my fast I could not drink. This changed the game entirely. The thing that is great about drinking is that it is a social lubricant. You can drink a bit, loosen up and just settle into the goings on of the environment. However, since I was completely sober and drinking their dreadful tap water I remained detached for the first several hours stuck in observation.

The highlight of the night was a fellow who was dressed as Randy Watson, lead singer of the group Sexual Chocolate from the Black Awareness Rally scene of Coming to America. If you are unfamiliar, shame on you.

Soon afterwards three of my other friends showed up. My buddy Larry and his fiancé came dressed as cops from Reno 911. Larry was the cop who wears the questionably tight uniform… yes he was clowned. No he did not care. The homie Dez had a theme based costume as well. He was the world’s worst DJ. He had big Mickey Mouse hands, a discombobulated assortment of not so trendy clothing, a matted wig reminiscent of a too dry jheri curl and the worst combination of vinyl records you could have as part of a DJ set. (Barbara Streisand, We Are the World etc). Hahaha it was funny and smart.

The DJ started off kinda weak but oh buddy did he pick it up. We were having a grand old time, but then I started to survey the room again. When I looked at the facial expressions of folks and how groups were interacting it was quite fascinating. The sexual energy was palpable. Folks were looking to take strangers home, or get taken home; with their unmentionables on display to advertise their product to would be suitors. Of course this is not different than walking down the street any other day, but with Halloween it is amplified ten fold.

There was something sad to me about it. Those most boldly projecting this energy seemed the saddest. They didn’t seem to dance to enjoy themselves. They danced for attention. They glanced around constantly trying to lock eyes with would be partners for sexual shenanigans. Part of me gets it, but part of me doesn’t anymore. I guess I am just at a place in my life where that isn’t appealing to me. It’s hard for me to be extremely attracted to anyone without first having a conversation, without first getting to know the person’s mind and spirit. I’m not saying that I am better or worse than anyone else. It‘s just different.

The DJ started playing some nonsense again around 1:30 am so it was time for me to kick rocks. As I said my goodbyes and headed to my car I reflected on the night. I was glad that I went out and glad that the bad feeling I had earlier ended up being for naught.

I made my way up to the third floor parking structure of the Beverly Center where I parked my car, paid for my parking, got in the car and tried to turn it on.

Crank crank crank…

Dangit! My car won’t start. I tried to push it myself to a speed where I could pop the clutch but no dice. There was no slope. My first thought was that I don’t have money to be spending on a tow or an unexpected trip to the mechanic. Why in the heck is this happening anyway? I rarely drive my car, it’s in great condition!

Then it hit me… yeah… I rarely drive my car… that’s the problem.

There was something wrong with the fuel delivery during the starting process. The same thing happened after I tried to start the car after not driving it when my ankle was broken. I called AAA they came and got me going. Of course I had to wait an hour for them to come.

During that hour of waiting I talked to God. I started to ask him why is this happening? Is this because I ignored the questionable feeling I had before going out? Why now? Why didn’t it happen when I started the car to drive out there (it did struggle to start though). I asked God to PLEASE not let there be something seriously wrong with my car. PLEASE. He responded and told me to relax. Ain’t nothing wrong. I just don’t drive it as much as it needs to be driven. Oh and also, get a tune up fool.

I finally start heading home. I thought a lot about the questionable feeling that I had earlier in the day, the good time I had at the event and my car not starting and I realized something. Some of us believe that life is a series of coincidences. Others believe that the random things that happen in our lives are predestined. As for me, I think that it is impossible to really know. Our minds are great tools to help us understand the world around us and the rules we have come up with to govern our society. But they aren’t really adequate tools to determine the purpose of things. It doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t try. I try all the time.

Last night was an annoying, yet amusing, reminder that for as much as I like to think I know what’s going on in the world, as much as I think I sense all kinds of things before they happen, as much as I like to guess about the purpose that God has for every event, I really don’t have the slightest idea.

The feelings we get should not be ignored but we also need to use common sense. We need to allow for the possibility that we have no idea where we are and where we are going. This is where faith comes in for me. Sometimes I gotta just relax, release the illusion of control and just let it ride.

I made it home safe, an hour later than I expected but perhaps right on time.

And I didn’t spend a dime (besides parking).

Will I go out again Saturday night… I’m not sure… I don’t much fancy the idea of my car not starting again. We shall see.

Breakfast: Oatmeal
Lunch: A burrito bowl without the sauce. Chicken, black beans, rice, tomatoes, lettuce.. Tasty!
Dinner: Scrambled Eggs with Spinach

Beverage of the Day: Water


  1. Hey Man of God,
    I can understand your point about not really knowing. "as much as I like to guess about the purpose that God has for every event, I really don’t have the slightest idea".

    And I agree....

    The Holy Spirit is given to lead us into truth. Even as you stated "its all by faith" right?

    I believe in spite of the feeling you had you stepped out and had a good time, however, there were all of these other elements present.

    God loves us so much that even when we step out in the wrong direction, He's right there to lead us back, but it is a choice, and a decision for you to pay attention to hear what the Spirit is saying without analyzing what it could be.

    Todays meal was:
    Breakfast: 2 Scrambled eggs, 2 slices of bacon
    Lunch: small bowl of fruit with pineaple, grapes, cantalope, and kiwi

    Much Love

  2. I had an afterthought, just as you've been speaking about all week "all things are permitted, but not beneficial".

    That's exactly what I can see in this particular scenario. (I'm just sayin)


  3. @Nicole I think you are right. I had no business there and it didn't profit me anything. I see that now. I've received some wonderful messages today and feel inspired again after a tough Day 6..


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