Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Are You Ready To Get Married?

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.

So a couple years ago when I picked up the Bible again I had just come out of a pretty up and down relationship. Going through that I thought that I had what it took to embark on the marriage path.

Until I read the passage above…

Do you get what he is saying here? Do you understand how serious this is?
He is saying that fellas need to treat their wives that Christ treated the church! Jesus gave all that he had to all of us and even laid it all out on the cross! He died for the church! Are you willing to even entertain that thought?

Ok fine you might think I’m being extreme here but think about that. That’s the kind of love necessary to keep a promise of a life long holy matrimony. Unconditional love… You gotta be invested no matter what. You have to be extremely selfless, humble, faithful, trusting and secure. You will have to lead with love without concern for yourself. You must think in terms of what is best for “we” instead of “me”.

The 2008 model of Clarence was NOT ready for that. That was clear to me when I read it. Then it made me think, what if I had gotten married before then. What would it have been about? Yes I had been in love before. There is no doubt about that. But was I willing to put anyone that I had loved before myself? Was I willing to SERVE the person I was with?

I wasn’t there yet. And you know what? That’s ok!

We are where we are ya know? There’s no shame in that. We just have to be honest with ourselves. One of my homies said something that I’ll never forget. He said “I don’t care if you aren’t honest with me or anyone else, just be honest with yourself.”

In this time of decadence, dreams and expectations we think that there are certain things that we should have at a certain time. We should have a car by a certain age, a house, a wife/husband, kids, and the dream job.

My high school self thought that I would have all of those things by the time I was 30. I remember at that time my mom told me to not even think about getting married until I was 30!

And for me and how my life has turned out she was absolutely right! I am approaching that age now and finally starting to figure out the specifics my purpose here on this planet. Had I gotten married at 21, 25 or even 27 it would have probably been a disaster.

So fellas I have one bit of advice for you. If you think you are ready to get married to your imaginary Proverbs 31 Clair Huxtable then read the scriptures above. If you aren’t ready to do for your future wife what Jesus did for the church then you ain’t ready.

Ladies, if you think that you are ready for that knight in shining armor to come put that ring on your finger and ride or die for you then read Proverbs 31 and ask yourself if you are on your way. Also ask yourself if you’d advise your brother to be that Jesus level husband to someone just like you. If not, then you ain’t ready.

And if you’re already married… step your game up. Your spouse will love you for it. I promise. Best of luck to ya...

We don’t have to be perfect, that is impossible. We just have to make sure that we are on our way toward being the best we can be. And we have to deliver on that potential. 

But most of all, be honest with yourself before you get caught up in a hot mess. 

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