The Myth of the Bootstraps

Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted. Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. Galatians 6:1-2

Today’s Reading; Isaiah 3-4; Galatians 6

The saying “pull yourself up by your bootstraps” has always bugged me. Typically when I hear folks say it they are describing themselves. They say that they have reached whatever level of success that they have on their own. And since they did it on their own then so should everyone else.

Why help people when they can do for themselves right?

WRONG!

This kind of thinking is exceedingly selfish and misguided. It is selfish because it implies that it is ok to view the world solely through one’s own wants and desires. Who cares about anyone else? As long as I’ve got mine then I’m cool. Good luck getting yours.

It is misguided because in every single instance it is wrong. No one has reached any measure of success without the help of another person. How did you grow into an adult without someone feeding you? How did you get shelter without someone putting a roof over your head? How did you get the job you have, or the position you have attained without someone hiring you, mentoring you, or giving you advice.

This is one of the strange things about American culture. Many folks would claim that this is a Christian nation, but the way that some of us view helping others seems to be decidedly unchristian. We say that we believe in Jesus and his teachings. We believe in “give and it shall be given to you” but when it comes to “love your neighbor as yourself” somehow his words get lost in translation.

Some may respond to me by saying that helping others isn’t help at all. It just enables folks to stay in a position of helplessness. In the most extreme sense of charity they may have a point.

But the fact of the matter is that EVERYONE needs help. No one has ever gone it totally alone.

I believe that it is in the best interest of all of us to help each other. The better my neighbor is doing then the better equipped she’ll be to help me when I need assistance. The whole is greater than the some of the parts.

So think carefully the next time you have the opportunity to help someone. Maybe it will be a kid who is looking for extra help on their homework or someone looking for a break to turn their life around.

As Paul said in the 10th verse of this very same chapter “Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people.”

That sums it up quite nicely I think. 

Isaiah Goes Hard in the Paint!

When you come to appear before me,
   who has asked this of you,
   this trampling of my courts? 

Stop bringing meaningless offerings!
   Your incense is detestable to me.
New Moons, Sabbaths and convocations—
   I cannot bear your worthless assemblies.
Your New Moon feasts and your appointed festivals
   I hate with all my being.
They have become a burden to me;
   I am weary of bearing them.
When you spread out your hands in prayer,
   I hide my eyes from you;
even when you offer many prayers,
   I am not listening.

   Your hands are full of blood!

Wash and make yourselves clean.
   Take your evil deeds out of my sight;
   stop doing wrong.
Learn to do right; seek justice.
   Defend the oppressed.
Take up the cause of the fatherless;
   plead the case of the widow. – Isaiah 1:12-17

Today’s Reading: Isaiah 1-2; Galatians 5

Good gracious that’s some withering heat! I said yesterday that Paul went hard in the paint but this is a whole different level. This is like footage of Shaq when he was in high school terrorizing the minions in his path.

Utterly unfair.

But look at the message. Isaiah spends a bunch of verses lambasting Israel for their wrongs and you’re thinking… okay… but what did they do? Then you get to this part.

Wash and make yourselves clean.
   Take your evil deeds out of my sight;
   stop doing wrong.
Learn to do right; seek justice.
   Defend the oppressed.
Take up the cause of the fatherless;
   plead the case of the widow. – Isaiah 1:16-17

This is amazing to me. Through Isaiah’s revelation we see that God is the champion of the oppressed and downtrodden. God cares more about how we treat our fellow human beings than he does about the number of prayers we offer, the amount of times we repent, or how often and loudly we praise His name.

This rings true to me. I’ve always viewed Jesus’ great commandments as the cornerstone of my faith. We are to love God and love our neighbors as ourselves.

And really this is a circular notion. Given that we are all created in God’s image how can we truly say that we love God when we are willing to stand idly by as our brothers and sisters are oppressed?

It doesn’t work that way.

The prophet books are good for this. Through the gift of their timeless connections to God we can see how we need to improve ourselves. We are no better or worse than Israel was when these words were written; but we do have the benefit of these words to learn from.

If this first chapter of Isaiah is any indication… we are in for a rough and tumble ride!




(P.S. this is the instrumental... I just couldn't bring myself to put the actual song up... that's going entirely too far. Listen along with the second Shaq clip below Enjoy!)

Shaq going hard in the paint like Isaiah in his rookie year. smh...

Tough Love

Formerly, when you did not know God, you were slaves to those who by nature are not gods. But now that you know God—or rather are known by God—how is it that you are turning back to those weak and miserable forces? Do you wish to be enslaved by them all over again? You are observing special days and months and seasons and years! I fear for you, that somehow I have wasted my efforts on you. – Galatians 4:8-11

Today’s Reading: Song of Solomon 6-8; Galatians 4

Paul is going hard in the paint on the Galatians! “I fear for you, that somehow I have wasted my efforts on you.” Good grief.

Have you ever had your parents tell you that they were disappointed in you? Man that’s like the roughest thing ever for a kid. All other forms of punishment are fleeting when you think about it. If you get grounded that ends in time. Even if you get a whoopin it ain’t so bad. Actually I always thought that was better than being grounded. It ends as quick as it begins (and I was blessed with parents that didn’t mistake spankings with abuse so it was all good after it was done).

But geez… knowing that you have disappointed your parents is not the business. Regardless of how disobedient a child becomes they don’t ever really want to confront the idea of falling short in a meaningful way.

But this is exactly what Paul said. When I first read it I thought it was mean. I thought that he was going in way too hard on them. But on second thought it was just some tough love equal to the risk they were running by chasing after flawed gospel. Sometimes the truth hurts but you still gotta tell it.

Tough love is better than kind indifference.

Paul showed them love by telling them about themselves in such clear language. That kind of honesty is a rare treasure. It reminded me of one of my favorite proverbs:

“An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips.” - Proverbs 24:26

Even when the kiss feels like a smack on the face, know that it is what is best for you when it comes from a place of love. Sometimes folks on the outside see what we fail to see. You are truly blessed when you have folks in your life that will risk pissing you off to tell you the truth.

I know I have several such people in my life and I thank God for them… even when I ain’t trying to hear it.

The Curse of the Perfectionist

So again I ask, does God give you his Spirit and work miracles among you by the works of the law, or by your believing what you heard?  So also Abraham “believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness.”

Understand, then, that those who have faith are children of Abraham. Scripture foresaw that God would justify the Gentiles by faith, and announced the gospel in advance to Abraham: “All nations will be blessed through you.” So those who rely on faith are blessed along with Abraham, the man of faith. Galatians 3:5-9

Today’s Reading: Song of Solomon 4-5; Galatians 3

Ever since I was a child I have always been a perfectionist. I felt that everything that I truly cared about doing had be done perfectly.

Some might think that this is a gift and a curse but I don’t think so. I think it is only a curse. Perfectionism is a form of bondage. You become a slave to whatever the task at hand might be. You can’t let go of it until it has met some impossible standard of greatness. There are many a great artistic expressions, product, or service that has remained tucked away, gathering dust in the mind of a perfectionist who cannot let go.

Any effort to live up to a perfect standard is doomed to failure. This is because we cannot hope to achieve perfection no matter how hard we try. We are inherently flawed and as such the works of our hands are flawed as well.

This redemption that Paul is talking about is powerful to me. The notion to live our lives by faith rather than by perfect adherence to laws is nothing short of liberating. Living by faith gives us the freedom to see the standard set before us and strive for it knowing that we can pick ourselves up no matter how hard we fall. It allows us to take more chances, to fully walk the paths toward our purpose without fear of failure.

Failure becomes redefined. It is no longer a catastrophic end to a glorious story; but rather it becomes a minor detour or setback; an opportunity to learn and grow stronger with the next steps that we decide to take.

So what then is the responsibility of the faithful? Those who decide to live their lives by faith must never give up. We must never fail to get up when we fall. We must strive for the full realization of the purpose of our lives, to fully self-actualize.

We’ll never become what we were meant to be if we keep parts of ourselves tucked away. Live life to the fullest! Enjoy every single day as an opportunity to be better than you were the day before. Be bold in action and humble in heart.

This way we can fully enjoy our triumphs and truly learn from our failures. 

Christmas - A Day of Giving Love

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. 17 For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. John 3:16-17

Christmas is a special time for many of us.

For Christians it is a time to remember and celebrate the birth of Jesus (cause ya know for us that I kind of a big deal). It is the celebration of the most special gift that was given when we did not deserve. We are celebrating what for us is the ultimate expression of grace and love.

But it is also a special time for many folks who aren’t Christian. It is a time to give and receive gifts. It is an opportunity to express love in ways that we do not normally express ourselves during the year. This too is an expression of grace.

Regardless of what brings you to this special day, it is a day of giving. It provides us with a chance to show love to those that we care about whether or not we feel that they may deserve that love. This is what I love about this day. We have an excuse to come together and reconcile past wounds. We are given a chance to collectively heal over some of the biggest meals that we will eat all year long! It is not just a celebration of a child born two thousands years ago but it is also a celebration of love.

As you sit at the dinner table with folks that you love, and some that might annoy you, remember that today can be a new day. If you want to you can open new doors of communication and begin the process of restoring old bonds. Or you can strengthen the wonderful bonds that you already have with those that you are sharing this season with.

Christmas is an important day of giving, and the greatest gift that we can give is our love. 

Sanctified Seduction

   She

I am a rose of Sharon,
   a lily of the valleys.

   He

Like a lily among thorns
   is my darling among the young women.

   She

Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest
   is my beloved among the young men.
I delight to sit in his shade,
   and his fruit is sweet to my taste.
Let him lead me to the banquet hall,
   and let his banner over me be love. – Song of Solomon 2:1-4

Today’s Reading: Song of Solomon 1-3; Galatians 2

I didn’t like to read growing up. It all seemed so boring. We always had to read stores about people who weren’t like me, people I couldn’t relate to. It was a chore that I would rather not have done. I was content with skating by with some cliff’s notes and a prayer.

But that all changed my junior year when I took British Literature and we got to what became my favorite poem of all time: To His Coy Mistress by Andrew Marvell.

It is the most pimpinest piece of classical work that I have ever read.

The author is writing the poem to a woman that he digs. He is trying to convince her to come up off of her virginity without being married. There isn’t time enough to wait. Who knows if waiting will lead them to the grave? Seize the day now! Enjoy life and live it to the fullest. Of course he argues that the way to do this is by having sex with him.

Dudes game was timeless… literally.

Of course I loved it for the gargantuan game displayed by Mr. Marvell but mostly because he was talking about something I could relate to. What 16 year old kid wasn’t trying to holler at girls? I know I was. But I found it so strange to see his game at work in old English. It totally changed my perspective on what “literature” was. I thought that maybe if something like this exists then there was other stuff out there that would resonate with me.

Something similar happened when I read Song of Solomon. In the pages of the Bible we see a poetic love story between a man and a woman. They are longing for each other, admiring each other from afar in hopes that one day soon they would be able to consummate their love. And when you see through the imagery and metaphors it’s pretty graphic too!

This is in the Bible folks! The Bible!

The Bible talks about everything. I don’t care if you are looking for guidance regarding your purpose in life or how to talk to a man or woman of interest the Bible has answers and examples.

Pretty good for a document that’s 2000 years old and counting…

Read along and enjoy. You’ll be surprised by what you read between the lines. 

The Meaning of Life: Part 3: It's Never too Early

You who are young, be happy while you are young,
   and let your heart give you joy in the days of your youth.
Follow the ways of your heart
   and whatever your eyes see,
but know that for all these things
   God will bring you into judgment. 

So then, banish anxiety from your heart
   and cast off the troubles of your body,
   for youth and vigor are meaningless. Ecclesiastes 11:9-10

Remember your Creator
   in the days of your youth,
before the days of trouble come
   and the years approach when you will say,
   “I find no pleasure in them”— Ecclesiastes 12:1

Today’s Reading: Ecclesiastes 10-12; Galatians 1

Relatively speaking I am young. Sure I’m no longer the know-it-all knucklehead that I was in high school who was only concerned with basketball and being somewhat cool. But I am also far from the twilight of my life. God willing, I have many more years to live than I have already spent on this earth.

This is why the passage above really hit me when I read it. I am young and therefore I should enjoy life and let my heart give me joy in the days of my youth. This is a time to explore, spread my wings and fly into the far reaches of this world that my heart desires to go, experience all that the world has to offer, to live out my dreams. But the passage also suggests that I do this with God in mind.

And this makes sense to me. If I remember that God is with me with each step that I take then perhaps those steps will be easier. I will know that I have someone to lean on when the going gets tough. When life makes me limp, I’ll know that I have someone to lean on for support; and even better, carry me when I feel that I can no longer move forward.

Two years ago I got a fix it ticket for the tint on the side windows of my car so I had to go to the tint shop to get it removed. When I was there I met an older Jewish fellow who was getting tint put on his vehicle. I had my Bible with me while I was waiting so he struck up a conversation about religion and faith. He had been studying Kabbalah for several years and was amazed by what he has been learning on his recent spiritual journey. He said that he was surprised and encouraged that I was on a similar journey at such a young age. He wished he had started sooner.

That struck me as strange because I felt like I was behind. I was just coming back from being away from it for several years. Plus this was a very successful man. I still had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. I was still searching for purpose in nearly every way. When I told him this he said that it was good that I was doing the spiritual search first; that way I will learn what I need to learn in order to make the best decisions in those other aspects of my life going into the future.

It’s interesting. I’ve heard similar things from other elders. It’s never too early to search for meaning, to seek out one’s place in the world in terms of what we believe. Often times we wander about aimlessly because we have no rudder. We are just pieces of wood drifting along ocean currents determined by others.

Yes we should enjoy our youth (I need to do more of this to be honest) but that enjoyment does not have to negate a meaningful search for self. The better you know your spirit, your strengths and weaknesses, and the foundation of your faith then the better equipped you will be to fully enjoy your time on this earth. The joy and happiness will have purpose; it will contribute to your life rather than possibly setting it back.

It may be a lonely journey at a young age; seeking God, discovering the truth at the foundation of your life, but Ecclesiastes and the old heads say it’s worthwhile and wise.

I believe them.

What I have discovered so far is this:

Love God and pursue a relationship with him.

Love your neighbor as yourself.

Live in the present.

Search your heart and spirit for your purpose and chase after it with all that you have.

Do not live in fear.

Enjoy the things that don’t last beyond the present: Your work, good food and good times with good people.

       

In the end everything else is meaningless, “a chasing after the wind”.

Don't Ask is done, but we ALL still have a ways to go

Don’t ask don’t tell has been repealed. I have two thoughts.

1. It’s about time.

2. That was a pretty moronic rule to begin with.

First of all I’m going to start by saying this: I am happy that the decision has been made to end this policy. It was long overdue. There have been countless lives affected by this DADT and I hope that this will be the first of many necessary steps toward making openly gay and lesbian soldiers a reality in our armed forces.

Now on to the part about it being moronic… I mean seriously… Being a soldier is no joke. Those who choose to be soldiers are willingly putting themselves in harms way. And they choose to do this to protect us, the regular American citizens that have no desire to be out there. I cannot begin to imagine how many good soldiers we lost by having this policy. How many lives were lost because some of our best soldiers couldn’t go out into the field of battle? In a time when our soldiers are over extended and ill-equipped we’ve allowed our collective bigotry to prevent us from putting our best foot forward.

Shameful.

This is in no way an endorsement of the wars we have going on. I am not the biggest fan of war in general, nor some of the specific decisions that have been made with our recent foreign policy. I believe that we should do our best to avoid war at all costs unless absolutely necessary.

Plus I think that peace is pretty cool. But that’s just me.

But to deny someone the right to serve their country, no, protect their country, as a soldier because of their sexuality is terrible.

And it is wrong.

But of course we have seen this before. It wasn’t too long ago that the US military was segregated along racial lines. It seems that we are hard pressed to learn lessons from the past.

What has been will be again, 
   what has been done will be done again; 
   there is nothing new under the sun.  Ecclesiastes 1:9

Most of us are afraid of what is different. We are afraid of what is new. We resist change.

But that’s not the way the world works. The world is constantly changing. We move through seasons. We experience sunshine, winds and rains. Though we follow the same path around the sun we never come back to the same place.

Time marches on and so must we.

We have seen this battle waged before but under different banners. Whether it is race or gender, nationality or sexuality the struggles remain the same.

Either we can be fair, or we can be unjust.

This is a matter of morality. Everyone has all the right in the world to think or feel however they want to about anyone else. But they do not have the right to let those thoughts fuel actions that negatively affect the lives of others. They do not have the right to impose their will on others.

What is right for you is just that; right for you.

For our gay brothers and sisters this is just one battle of a larger war. I wish them the best as a fellow from one under represented group to another.

“So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.” – Jesus of Nazareth Matthew 7:12

I want the freedom to live my life as I choose so long as I don’t hurt others. I believe that everyone else should have that same right. If freedom is denied to one then it is denied to us all.

Stay strong. There is still a long way to go… for ALL OF US.

I Just Put My Foot in my Mouth...

Indeed, there is no one on earth who is righteous,
   no one who does what is right and never sins.

Do not pay attention to every word people say,
   or you may hear your servant cursing you—
for you know in your heart
   that many times you yourself have cursed others. Ecclesiastes 7:20-22

Today’s Reading: Ecclesiastes 7-9: 2 Corinthians 13

Damn,

So you know those times where you do something that you say you try not to do without really being conscious of it and it comes back to kick you in the face?

Welcome to my day today.

So I got an email from a friend the other day saying that she is looking for roommates for this new place that she will be moving into pretty soon. When I first read the email it made me think of another friend who is looking for a place. As I ran down the list of amenities I was like oh this looks good. It’s in a cool area, the house looks nice from the pictures and it’s even pet friendly!

Check, Check, Check.

Looks like it might be a good fit.

So I forwarded the email to the friend who is looking for a new place. The email went like this:

“Not sure if you're really trying to have roommates but a Christian homegirl of mine is looking for some. I'll give you the low down on her if you are interested. We went to high school and Jr. High together... cool and sweet though on the judgmental Christian side... I don't know her super well. Let me know if you want to talk more.”

Not my finest hour…

It was alright until we got to the “judgmental Christian side” part. All bad… So here I am in an email judging someone I’ve known for years by saying that she’s judgmental!

That’s some irony for you… (a note to my literary friends… I don’t feel like looking up the definition of irony… if I am wrong feel free to educate me in the comments section below. Either way you get my point. Thanks.)

So the judged friend of mine called me and asked me about it. I’m actually really happy that she did because I know a whole lot of other people who would have just let it fester or just written me off as some kind of self-righteous hypocrite. But by calling me on it she gave me a chance to apologize.

I was so surprised by the call that I started off like “hummina hummina remember that one time when you had said x y and z well actually I don’t remember the exact time but you know what I mean blah blah blah.”

Such a dummy I was. How am I gonna try to blame her for my screw up?

Graciously she let me make a fool of myself until I just stopped and said you know what… I’m sorry. I judged you in saying that you were judgmental and that was wrong.

She thanked me for my apology and allowed me to clarify what I meant. We talked a bit more about it before ending the call decently well considering the circumstances.

I did learn a few things today. First of all, I’ve got more in common with the super judgmental folk than I think. This was a serious self check moment. I gotta work on that. Second, God has a funny way of teaching me things. I mean seriously… judging someone by calling them judgmental and getting confronted about it? That’s pretty ridiculous. Third… if you’re gonna be judgmental then don’t do it over email!!! (ok this isn’t really a good spiritual lesson but seriously… how moronic was I?)

As always… I’ve got a ways to go. For every one step back I gotta take two steps forward.

Smh… (shaking my head)

To my judged friend: If you are reading this then I hope that you will accept my apology and forgive me. Hopefully we can get past this and be cool in the future. I’m sorry!

The Meaning of Life: Part 2 Don't Get Caught by the Hustle

And I saw that all toil and all achievement spring from one person’s envy of another. This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind.

Fools fold their hands
   and ruin themselves.
Better one handful with tranquility
   than two handfuls with toil
   and chasing after the wind. Eccl 4:4-6

Today’s Reading: Ecclesiastes 4-6; 2 Corinthians 12

If you look at media and popular culture there is at least one message that rings abundantly clear.

More is better!

Advertising has taught us that we won’t be happy unless we have more. We always need the next gadget, the big house, the fancy car. There is nothing wrong with nice things. As a matter of fact I happen to like nice things. I like them a lot. But having nice things isn’t the problem. The problem is when we assign personal value to obtaining these things.

Often times it is competitive. We look around at others and see their perceived wealth and think, man… why can’t I have that? And from these salty seeds the weeds of greed sprout, only to be watered all the more by the society that we live in. If only we can be richer than the Joneses then we will be BETTER than them too.

No one comes out and actually says this, but for most of us it is a latent motivation, deep within the parts of ourselves that we least like to face.

Ok don’t believe me? I’ll give you a perfect example. Marriage.

Oh no, I’m not talking about the obvious things like men wanting the most beautiful woman or women wanting the most successful man… I’m talking about the process of getting married.

That’s right… the engagement ring and the wedding.

The engagement is the proving ground of the man. De Beers and the rest of them folks have convinced us over the past several decades that diamonds are a girl’s best friend. They have convinced us that one must purchase a diamond ring as a display of their affection for their soon to be wife. Before it was always the ring that was the symbol right? The ring is the unending circle that signifies a commitment that will never be broken. But nowadays it is the diamond too. The bigger and clearer, the more he loves her. And everyone’s watching. The first mention of a woman being engaged is followed immediately by the question “oh so let’s see the ring…”

And if that ring ain’t up to “par” then it’s all bad. Too much pressure for a situation that should be so beautiful…

Then if you make it past the engagement hurdle, the wedding comes. Who are you going to invite? Where will it be? What dress will she wear? What food will the guests eat? We can’t sit uncle Rufus next to Aunt Maybell. We said we’d only invite 100 people but what about my second cousins on my momma’s side? They’ll be furious if they aren’t invited. Couples take out loans the size of down payments on would be homes so that they can please all of these other people and prove to them the largesse of their love.

And the coldest part of this hustle is that the whole purpose of this expression of love and commitment has vanished into an elaborate and expensive show and tell. There are countless couples who delay engagement because of their expectations for the kind of ring they should buy or how much the wedding will cost. Others assume crippling debt to keep up with the weddings that their friends and family had while still others, who try to do it within their means, get judged for the fiscal modesty of their displays of affection.

All of this for two special events that are supposed to be about love: the day a couple privately agree to commit themselves to each other for life, and the day that they share that commitment with their family and friends.

My point isn’t to expose the obvious hustle behind this whole industry. We all know what’s going on here. And my point is not to trash beautiful rings and weddings. I think it is wonderful when two people can share their love with each other and their loved ones in beautifully creative ways.

But at the end of the day it’s easy to lose focus. The focus should be on enjoying that present moment. It should be about planning every single day to share the best, most loving life together.

Don’t worry about what the next person is doing, or wearing, or driving. Just focus on the life that you live, the choices that you can make, and the joy that you can experience each and every day. Find work that fulfills your purpose, work that you enjoy, work that puts food in your family’s belly.

Everything else is nice and great but it’s not necessary. If you want it then by all means go for it!!! Enjoy the wonderful treasures that life has out there for us.

But do it for you. Do it because it is what YOU want, not because someone else is watching you or telling you how you should live your life.

Your life is yours. Seize the day! The present moment is all we are guaranteed. Never lose sight of that, and your days will be filled with joy. 

The Meaning of Life: Part 1

That which has been is what will be, 

That which is done is what will be done,
And there is nothing new under the sun. 

Is there anything of which it may be said, 

“See, this is new”?
It has already been in ancient times before us.
There is no remembrance of former things,
Nor will there be any remembrance of things that are to come
By those who will come after. - Ecclesiastes 1:9-11

Today’s Reading: Ecclesiastes 1-3; 2 Corinthians 11:16-33

Ecclesiastes is my favorite book of the Bible.

I love it probably because it is the most challenging. Or perhaps because it stimulates the philosopher in me (shout out to Kieran). But one thing is certain. This book strikes me as being pure, unadulterated truth.

It is the ultimate search for meaning.

There is something solemn, almost depressing about the introductory thesis.

      “ Vanity of vanities, all is vanity.”
       What profit has a man from all his labor – Ecclesiastes 1:2-3

Like Lauryn Hill said… “Everything that you did has been has already been done.”

So what is the point? Why do we do all that we do? Do we do it so that we will be remembered? Perhaps we build our legacies and fortunes to pass on to our children. But isn’t that selfish as well? To the extent that our children are the mark that we leave on the world it is at least partially selfish. And even our children will pass on. Buildings with our names may be erected but over time they too will fall. Even if you establish an entire civilization, those too crumble.

Egypt was around for thousands of years and even it met its demise; leaving behind some fresh pyramids with dope graffiti on the walls. Greece and Rome came as well. They too left some cool buildings and sculptures as well as a few good books. But the cares of the individuals, their hopes and dreams and work all vanished in the sands of time.

Our society today has created so much. We have achieved levels of understanding that make us believe that we can comprehend the universe. We have created a global information network that allows us to share our ideas with the rest of the world with the click of a mouse. But that too will some day fade away long after the last flickers of electricity disappear into the darkness of time’s passing.

Everything that has been has already been done.

I have spent many sleepless hours trying to answer this question for myself. What is my purpose? What do I do next? Why did I do what I did before? And somehow in these pages I find the truth.

The “why” doesn’t matter as much as the “what”.

The measure of a life isn’t why someone lived how they lived, but rather what the contents of that life were in the moments that they were lived. Were you happy? Did you enjoy your work? Did you surround yourselves with people that you love? Did you enjoy good food? Did you live your life to the fullest?

The purpose of life lies in the present.

This is the message that I get from this book. The past is meaningless, the future is meaningless. All of the same things happen over and over again in different forms anyway. What truly matters is the present. That is where the meaning is. The present is the truth.

When I think about life in this way it is quite liberating. All of the past troubles and mistakes disappear and the future worries evaporate into the nothingness that they truly are. When I remember that the present is all that matters, all that is complex becomes simple. I start to “be”.

And after all, that’s what we are right? We are human beings. Our purpose is to live and exist in the now.

A wise friend of mine once told me that the key to life is to do the best that you can in the present moment every single day.

The more that I think about those words the more I see how truly correct she was. 

The Ideal Woman: Too Good to be True?

Today's Reading: Proverbs 30-31; 2 Corinthians 11:1-15

So if you’ve been following along with me since the beginning you have probably seen that this good book seems to have an answer for pretty much everything.

No wonder it’s been around for a couple thousand years or so.

And here is yet another example.

Fellas, if you have ever wanted to know what kind of woman you should go after here is the blueprint.

Ladies, if you have ever wondered what kind of woman attracts the kind of man that the Bible says the fellas should be… take a look.

She seems almost impossible; like a mix between our mythical idea of Michelle Obama and Clair Huxtable from the Cosby Show. I mean really, who can live up to that?

(Yes I am aware that there is literature on how the role of Clair has affected how men and women relate to each other in some negative ways... but I digress.)

The thing that I love about this passage is that it isn’t about being able to be this "perfect" person. This passage, just like many of the others, is about what we are shooting for. Who do we want to become? Which examples do we choose to follow?

So, take a look at this description of the ideal woman… what do y’all think?

Ladies… is this even relevant for today?

Fellas…. Is this the kind of woman that you want? If so… do you think she wants YOU?! *rhetorical question/food for thought/Let’s step our game up*

Enjoy

Epilogue: The Wife of Noble Character

Proverbs 31:10-31

10 A wife of noble character who can find?
   She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her
   and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
   all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax
   and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
   bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still night;
   she provides food for her family
   and portions for her female servants.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
   out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously;
   her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
   and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff
   and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor
   and extends her hands to the needy.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
   for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed;
   she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
   where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
   and supplies the merchants with sashes.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
   she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom,
   and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household
   and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
   her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women do noble things,
   but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
   but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
31 Honor her for all that her hands have done,
   and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Gangsta of Love

I beg you that when I come I may not have to be as bold as I expect to be toward some people who think that we live by the standards of this world. For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. - 2 Corinthians 10:2-4

Today’s Reading: Proverbs 27-29; 2 Corinthians 10

If it’s not already abundantly clear, Paul was a spiritual gangsta.

Does anyone else hear the swagger in his voice when you read those words? Maybe it’s just me but good gracious. Paul wasn’t playing games with nobody.

But you know what this makes me think of? It makes me think of the idea of turning the other cheek.

It is one of those ideas that sounds totally and completely crazy on the surface but it is what Jesus instructed folks to do. We saw this strategy at work in the civil rights movement as folks braved police dogs, lynch mobs, sit ins and fire hoses without fighting back. They allowed their love to be the weapon used to defeat hate.

And when it comes down to it that is the foundation of the weapons that Paul is talking about. When we have love in our hearts combined with the faith necessary to fuel our actions then the terms of our battles change. We make all conventional weapons of this world obsolete. Their power melts in the face of love.

And through this love it is possible to fight battles and wage wars that build rather than just destroy. Through violence we can never accomplish peace. All we can do is destroy and then dominate what we have taken over.

But with love we may break down walls and destroy strongholds. This isn’t done with bombs or bullets. It is done through forgiveness, sacrifice and grace.

I wonder what the world would be like if all of the disgruntled and frustrated folks decided to fight their situations with love. How would the world change? What would the new rules of engagement be? I believe this world would be one of boundless possibilities. New horizons would be cut out of old, desolate landscapes of unforgiveness. And the rays of new hope would shine brightly to warm the mornings of tomorrow.

I’m foolish enough to believe that these kinds of things are possible. I believe in the power of each individual to change the world around them. If each of us decide to stop living in fear, and start living in love, then we can’t help but to start a cleansing fire that will overtake the world. The old trees of fear that choke the futures of so many of us will make way for new seedlings of hope for our future.

Today is a new day. Plant a seed and watch it grow. 

I Pity the Fool

1 Like snow in summer or rain in harvest,
   honor is not fitting for a fool. 

3 A whip for the horse, a bridle for the donkey,
   and a rod for the backs of fools!
6 Sending a message by the hands of a fool
   is like cutting off one’s feet or drinking poison.
7 Like the useless legs of one who is lame
   is a proverb in the mouth of a fool.
9 Like a thorn bush in a drunkard’s hand
   is a proverb in the mouth of a fool.
10 Like an archer who wounds at random
   is one who hires a fool or any passer-by.
11 As a dog returns to its vomit,
   so fools repeat their folly.
12 Do you see a person wise in their own eyes?
   There is more hope for a fool than for them. – Various verses on fools From Proverbs 26

Today’s Reading: Proverbs 25-26; 2 Corinthians 9

So I was reading Proverbs 26 and I couldn’t help but laugh. I mean seriously… Solomon or whoever wrote this joint goes HARD on fools.

But you know what, it’s necessary. I know this because I have been the fool that he is describing. Fools are people who don’t heed advice. They think that they know everything so they tend to repeat the same mistakes.

Oh come on now, don’t act like I’m the only fool in this conversation. Y’all know that you have been foolish at times. Ok fine, since you may not want to admit it for your own life I’ll give you an example of a time when I was comically foolish. In typical male fashion it involved not following directions.

What made me think about this is that I finally got a desk for my room. Hooray for me! It’s only two years too late. Actually it’s quite amazing that I’ve made it through 300 of these things by writing on my laptop from random tables, sitting on the floor, or laying in my bed. But I digress.

So, today as I was putting together my table I made extra sure to follow the instructions. Sure all I had to do was screw the legs onto the table top but shoot… you never know. Sometimes the easiest tasks make you look the stupidest when you screw them up.

This happened to me a few years ago. I bought a bookshelf from IKEA to provide a humble abode for the only true treasures that I have.

My books… oh how I do love thee…

So the bookshelf was just as easy to put together as any other IKEA product. The process was just a bit longer as it had several parts that needed to be hammered and screwed together. No biggie. I’ve been putting stuff together for as long as I could remember. Even as a kid my Dad always had me help with such projects.

Simple.

Well I got to the end where I had to attach the top board. At this point I was on auto pilot. I knew where it was supposed to go, how it fit and it was a matter of just nailing in the screws. But I made a mistake… I nailed it in backwards!!!

Sure it still works but the mistake is obvious. I am not lost on the irony that the bookshelf that houses evidence of my intellectual prowess is foolishly flawed in its construction.

See difference in smooth side and rough top finish for my foolishness

We have many things that serve as instruction manuals for our lives. They take the form of loved ones who give sound advice, mentors who have been on the path we want to take, and other folks who have made mistakes that we want to avoid.

We become fools though when we start feeling ourselves a bit too much. We think we know it all and therefore stop seeking the guidance that helped us get to where we are. This is a common reason for why we experience setbacks on the paths of our purpose.

So try to remember not to get too full of yourself. Listen to those folks who have come before you. Do your due diligence. Read and research before you act. Sure you may know some things, but you definitely don’t know it all.

At least I know that I don’t.

Success!

Iconoclasts

Do not wear yourself out to get rich;
   do not trust your own cleverness. 

Cast but a glance at riches, and they are gone,
   for they will surely sprout wings
   and fly off to the sky like an eagle. Proverbs 23:4-5

Today’s Reading: Proverbs 22-24; 2 Corinthians 8

Several weeks ago I was at a party with some friends and one of them asked me if I had ever seen the show “Iconoclast” before. After being floored by the fact that I had not they went on to tell me about the concept of the show. The show features two very successful people from different disciplines and brings them together to have a conversation. It is a sort of a casual, mutual interview.

This sounded interesting. I’ve always found value in listening to highly successful people talk to teach other. They tend to share secrets to their mastery of success that an average Joe journalist could never tease out of them.

It’s one of those “it takes one to know one” kind of situations.

The episode of Iconoclast that my friend suggested that I watch was the one about Archbishop Desmond Tutu and Sir Richard Branson. Desmond Tutu is a famous activist and cleric who was a vocal opponent of Apartheid and a champion of peace and love around the globe. Richard Branson is the man behind Virgin Records and Virgin Airlines. He started as a guy who wanted to put out records from bands that he liked and became a billionaire entrepreneur who now wants to help regular folks become astronauts.

The fascinating thing about the episode is that it showed they have a genuine and long lasting friendship. Branson teased Desmond about things related to his priestly duties and not being able to swim. Tutu teased Branson about being filthy rich and his spirituality. They did this while laughing and splashing about in a pool on Branson’s private island.

The thing that touched me the most was when Desmond Tutu asked Branson what advice he would give to a young person who wants to be rich. Branson said that he would tell the kid not to have to goal of amassing great wealth, but rather to do something meaningful.

This struck me as being so incredibly true.

When we pursue what is meaningful to us then we receive more than just the material gain that may result form our endeavors. We also receive the fulfillment that comes from living out the purpose for our lives.

But when we pursue money we are chasing after something that does not have any life. And often times what occurs in this pursuit is that we leave our true lives behind to get this thing that we so desperately thought we wanted.

There is nothing wrong with money. Money is a great tool that can give us the material freedom do fully live our lives. But when we have our eyes fixed on it, things get out of balance.

This is a lesson that I am learning right now. Just like many of you a few extra dollars could do a brotha a world of good. But it is nice to be reminded that the most important thing is to go after what means most to us in this world.

Follow the path of your purpose with faith and courage and I’m sure that you’ll pick up enough coins along the way to meet all of your needs and wants.